“The fuck is this?”, you might be finding yourself saying. “They’re actually updating the blog?”
We are. At least this one time. If we’re lucky, I’ll be doing Trailer Roundups as a weekly or a monthly thing. If we’re being realistic, I’ll probably get bored & forget about it as soon as I hit “Publish”. “What is a Trailer Roundup?”, you ask? The Trailer Roundup is a brief overview of all that is good or shitty in the world of horror trailers. Let’s kick it off with some motherfuckin’ genies.
1. Jinn (2014)
Jinn combines two things that make me happy: Religious Horror & Ray Park punching dudes in the teeth. I was raised Catholic, so growing up, horror movies about demons, angels, possession, & all that jazz were extra-terrifying. As a non-believer, I still find all that stuff super-fascinating. Horror fans will notice, though, that almost all religious horror movies are filtered through a very Christian perspective (A notable exception: 2012’s The Possession, which was about the Jewish myth of the Dybbuk). One of the things that interests me about Jinn is that it focuses on the jinn of Islamic folklore. From the trailer, it seems like it might be a little more true to its mythological origins than Barbara Eden, Robin Williams, or the Djinn of the Wishmaster franchise, but unfortunately that means we probably won’t be seeing any scenes of a dude being forced to bang his own butt.
Another thing about Jinn that is of personal interest to me: It’s a Detroit-based production. Production company Exxodus Pictures is based out of Detroit, and the film was shot in the area. I’m not sure how many people outside of the midwest will really care, but I’m all for more movies being done out here.
The real question is: Did the movie turn out to be any good, or should we have just waited for a Made-For-Syfy Wishmaster 5? Bloody Disgusting’s review makes it sound like the exact movie that I want it to be: Over-the-top, dumb, and full of silly kung-fu shenanigans. I’m hoping to make it out to see it later this week, so I’ll report back (If I ever get around to writing a second Trailer Roundup).
2. Oculus (2014)
Long-time listeners of Miskatonic Musings might remember that we raved about Mike Flanagan‘s previous film, Absentia, waaay back in Episode 4 of the show. Well, the time is nearly upon us, as his follow-up film, Oculus, hits theaters on April 11th. From this trailer, I can expect to nearly shit myself in terror once again. Not only does Oculus prey upon my fear of reflective surfaces in dimly lit rooms (we can blame Gore Verbinski’s remake of The Ring for that), but it also stars Amy Pond and Starbuck, which will be sure to put plenty of Sci-Fi loving asses in seats. And the bit in the trailer with the lightbulb? Jesus. This movie will do for eating apples what Jaws did for beaches.
3. Godzilla (2014)
Fuck you, you know this is going to be awesome. What else is there to say?
Until next time, uh, I guess watch some trailers? Fuck you again, I don’t have a good sign-off.
You sir, are a journalist of the highest caliber.
I’ve learned that the more you say “Fuck you” at the reader, the better you are at journalism.